


That's Not My Name

by ThatOneAwkwardFangirl_Liz_Cecil



Series: Valentine's Shorts 2019 [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: (but it's okay because akaashi totally dies if he says it right?), Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Bokuto can't say Akaashi's name right for his fucking life, Coffee Shops, First Meetings, Fluff, M/M, More like Petty Setter, Nonbinary Akaashi Keiji, Pretty Setter Squad?, Prompt Fic, Random & Short, Short One Shot, there's really not many tags needed here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-23 11:59:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17683034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatOneAwkwardFangirl_Liz_Cecil/pseuds/ThatOneAwkwardFangirl_Liz_Cecil
Summary: Prompt: "You're the customer and you get back at me for all the times I've spelt your name wrong by mispronouncing my name in increasingly horrible ways AU" (except the other way around, because I mean, come on, BokuAka)Akaashi is a barista of great patience, but Bokuto is really trying that patience when he insists on mispronouncing their name. Still, he's kind of charming...





	That's Not My Name

**Author's Note:**

> I love this ship! I love Bokuto! I love Akaashi! I would die for them!
> 
> And I 100% believe that Akaashi is petty as fuck, so that's basically the premise here.

When an attractive man opened up the café door that afternoon, Akaashi Keiji was captivated. He had this radiant smile just naturally on his face, his hair was wild and grey at the tips, and his _body._ Even in a long trench coat, there were bulky muscles rippling underneath – good god, they were crumbling.

“Close your mouth; you’ll catch flies,” chided Konoha, elbowing them as he walked past.

“Shut up,” they hissed. “I’ll take this one.”

“I bet you will, you sly-”

“Welcome to Owl Coffee, what can I get you?” Akaashi asked the man, bravely looking up to meet his eyes. _Oh god, those eyes. What the fuck? They’re so beautiful?_

“Hey, hey, hey there-” The gold-eyed man glanced at their name tag then looked back at their face. “-Aakashie!”

One by one, their building fantasies about the man fell apart. _No, surely it was a mistake. It happens._

“I’ll take a-” And his order was complex, almost too complex, and Akaashi didn’t want to hold it against him, but…okay. The guy was loud, and kind of annoying, and this was why they never acted on looks alone.

“Anything else?” they asked through clenched teeth.

“That’ll be all, Aakashie!”

Akaashi was pretty sure their brain cells died at each mispronunciation. “Great. Coming right up. What’s the name?”

“Bokuto!”

Konoha snorted when they got to the machine next to him. “So much for the dream boat, huh?”

“Fuck off.”

Now, Akaashi wouldn’t exactly have called themself petty, but… Wait, no, yes they would. They were quite petty. Incredibly petty. So, they did exactly what they felt they had to.

_Bocuto._

Yep. It was small, and stupid, and probably even annoying. But they were satisfied.

 

Bokuto came in the next day as well.

“Hey, hey, hey, Ackashy!”

It took so much self-control not to physically cringe. Konoha hid a snicker behind his hand. The annoying customer was back.

“What can I get for you?” they asked, not bothering to force a smile.

“Can I get what I got yesterday?” he requested. Then, he hit himself lightly on the forehead. “You know what, you probably don’t remember that! I know I can be a little much with my orders.” He proceeded to ramble off the specifics again.

“Will that be all, Bokuto-san?”

“Yes! Thanks!”

Another drink, another misspelling.

Really, that was the only way they would even _dream_ of messing up the order of an annoying customer. They believed that no matter how irritating someone was, there was no justification in screwing up the ingredients.

They weren’t one to assume why someone made an order complicated. It could be an allergy, health reasons, or even just _they know how they like things_. So, if someone got on their nerves? They misspelled the customer’s name.

Harmless, and usually passed off as a mistake.

 

This went on for a while. Bokuto would loudly announce his arrival by mispronouncing Akaashi’s name in new and inventively awful ways, and Akaashi would spell his name wrong on his drink.

At the end of the second week, at wit’s end, Akaashi sighed as noticeably as they could when Bokuto mispronounced their name. Then, when writing his name on the cup, they just wrote: _Beef._

They looked him directly in his beautiful gold eyes as they handed over the drink, ignoring Konoha’s laughter behind them. Bokuto’s eyes shone with amusement, though.

“Ah, thank you. Same time tomorrow, Akash?” He winked.

Once he was out of the shop, they whirled around. “Did you see it?”

Konoha nodded, lips pressed tight together to stifle any more laughter. “He _knows_. He thinks you guys have a thing.”

“We practically do, it’s been two weeks,” they pointed out. “God, that’s so embarrassing.”

“Now that you know he’s doing it on purpose, all in good humor…” Konoha grinned. “You should ask him out.”

“No way!”

“Hmm…if you say so.”

 

The next day, to their horror, they found themself looking forward to making Bokuto’s stupidly complex drink and listening to him mispronounce their name with that ridiculous grin on his face. They’d been brainstorming what to put on his cup next and had narrowed their options down that they were pretty sure they could play it by ear when the time came.

Then, the time didn’t come.

_Huh._

Closing up with Konoha, Akaashi hoped that their coworker and friend wouldn’t mention it. He did.

“No Bokuto-san today, eh, Keiji?”

Akaashi shook their head. “Nope.”

“Weird.” He wiped down the counter. “Maybe he got caught up doing…whatever it is he does?”

“Yeah. Probably. We’ve had regulars miss a day before,” Akaashi pointed out. “I mean, plenty of times. Yukie doesn’t come in when she’s too busy at work. Kuroo-san doesn’t show up when he’s caught up at the lab.”

Konoha nodded. “So, you’re not worried he’s left you for another barista?”

Akaashi snapped Konoha’s arm with a rag. “Shut up.”

“Ow! Not nice, Keiji!”

 

The day after that, Bokuto came in earlier than he usually did.

There was no loud announcement, no overwhelming shift in the energy of the café. If anything, there seemed to be a sad aura surrounding the usually enthusiastic man.

“Hello, Bokuto-san,” Akaashi greeted. “Your usual?”

Bokuto nodded, not making eye contact with them.

They started to work on the drink, but since it was mostly empty in the shop, they called to him, “You alright, Bokuto-san?”

Bokuto shrugged, leaning over the counter and watching them make the drink.

“Hm.” They slid the cup to him. “I know a barista might not be a bartender, but I’m all ears if anything is wrong.”

“No misspelling today?” Bokuto almost sounded disappointed.

Akaashi took the cup back and added an extra o at the end of his name. They offered a small smile. “Better?”

A little bit of Bokuto’s usual grin started to return. “Thanks, Akashi-kun.”

“I hope whatever it is gets better soon, Bokuto-san.”

“Thanks,” Bokuto said again.

Once he left, Konoha leaned against the counter beside Akaashi.

“Worried?” he guessed.

“He’ll be okay,” they figured.

 

When Bokuto came in next, he was back to his usual self. Or, he was trying to be. Akaashi took one look at the usually sparkling gold eyes, and when they were met with dull ones, they knew something wasn’t right.

“Bokuto-san, your usual?” they asked.

He nodded. “Thanks, Akashy!”

They chuckled and rolled their eyes a little. “How are you today?”

Bokuto’s smile wavered. “Huh?”

“I – er – was a little – um – worried, yesterday,” they admitted, keeping their voice low. They figured Bokuto wouldn’t want his bad day announced to the whole shop, and Akaashi definitely didn’t want Konoha to hear the conversation.

A different kind of smile came to his face. “That’s so nice, Aakashie!”

“I care about our regulars,” they explained, heat flooding their cheeks. “And you’re usually so full of energy. How are you today?”

“I’m better now,” he said. One look at his eyes, and they believed him. “You might not realize it, but you make it better a lot of days.”

They looked away, even more embarrassed. “Well, it’s called customer service.”

“Right.” Bokuto winked. “I’m sure it is.”

_The nerve_. “I’ll have your drink ready in a moment, Bokuto-san.”

“For the record,” he added, “I really am doing… _owl_ right.”

They rolled their eyes. Of course. This wasn’t Bokuto’s first owl pun inside of the café, and it was surely not going to be his last.

 

“Did you…?” Konoha picked up a paper cup that Akaashi had set aside and frowned. “Did you set aside a cup for Bokuto in advance and write your number on it?”

They tensed, snatching the cup from his hands. “No.”

“So, what, you wrote it down in case you forgot?”

“Oh my god.”

“I can’t believe he’s charmed you with owl puns and mispronouncing your name,” he laughed. “Who knew it would be so easy to win your heart, Keiji.”

“It’s not easy. He’s been doing it for almost a month now.” They set the cup where it had been waiting and returned to work. “Shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Your smirk was audible.”

“I just think it’s funny.”

“I can tell.”

“I mean, the guy really pissed you off the first time you met-”

“First impressions aren’t everything,” they interrupted. “He’s coming in now, go! I’ve got this.”

“I bet you do!”

“AAAKASHIIIIIEE!” came the excited greeting at the door. Bokuto seemed to get more comfortable and more enthusiastic with their every interaction.

“Hello, Bokuto-san. Your usual?” Akaashi guessed.

“Nope!”

Akaashi froze. This wasn’t normal.

“Don’t look so surprised!” he laughed. “I wanted to try your new drink!”

“The frozen one?”

“Yes!”

“Even though it’s cold outside?”

“Yes!”

Konoha snickered before stifling the laugh. Akaashi couldn’t believe they were going to have to work for this.

“Which goes in a different style cup?”

“That it does, Akashy- _kun_ ~!”

Konoha lost it. “Ex-excuse me, Keiji,” he said between laughs, “I’m going on my break now.”

“Yeah, you do that,” they replied through gritted teeth.

Bokuto tilted his head in confusion. “The new Valentine’s drink!”

“I know what our new drink is, Bokuto-san,” Akaashi sighed, ringing it up.

“I think it’s funny that it’s called a Love Potion; seasonal drinks are always so interesting. Like the Halloween Witch’s Brew one! Oh, that was my favorite! I loved it! I have no clue what was in it, but it was so cool!”

Bokuto continued to ramble, and Akaashi continued to wonder how they were supposed to slip him their number without looking like an idiot. Then again, Bokuto always sort of looked like an idiot, so maybe they didn’t have to worry.

“So, what do you think?” Bokuto prompted.

“About what?”

He pouted. “You totally missed what I just said!”

“Sorry, the machines are loud in here.” They handed him the drink.

“I _said_ , calling it a Love Potion makes it sound like I’ll fall in love with whoever I’m looking at when I drink it!”

“Bokuto-san, it’s just coffee and-”

“Don’t _tell me_!” he gasped. “You’ll ruin the magic! Let’s test it.”

“Bokuto-san-”

Bokuto looked them directly in the eyes while he took a sip. “Hmm.”

Akaashi rolled their eyes. “So, are you in love with me now?”

He squinted in concentration and pursed his lips. “Hmm…”

“If you’re just going to stand there, I’ve got other customers waiting.” They didn’t, but they could pretend it was the drive-through.

“Wait!”

“What?”

Bokuto grinned. “I am most _certainly_ in love!”

Akaashi snorted. “It’s not real if it’s from a potion.”

He pouted again, harder this time. “Akaash _iii_ , I’m trying to _tell you something_!”

“You’re probably still not in love,” they huffed, grabbing the paper cup with their number.

“I could be!”

“You don’t know anything about me except that I’m a barista, Bokuto-san.”

“But I know that I like you a whole bunch and I love teasing back and forth with you!”

Akaashi shook their head and sighed. “If you’re interested in falling in love, try texting me sometime instead of drinking a Love Potion latte?” They handed him the empty cup. “And warn me next time you’re planning on changing your drink order.” The last part was mostly mumbled.

“AKAASHI! THAT’S SO CUTE! You were all ready to ask me out and I beat you to it-”

“I just gave you my number; please don’t be so loud, Bokuto-san.”

“Sorry!” He grinned and leaned across the counter. “I will _text you_ and ask you on a date!”

They adjusted their apron and started to walk back to the register. “That is why I gave you my-” They stopped. “Hang on. Say my name again?”

“Akaashi?” They smiled and bit their lip, which made Bokuto laugh. “You like when I say it right, don’t you?”

“Get out of my café,” they decided, shooing him.

“I’m going, I’m going! See you later, _Akaashieee_!”

**Author's Note:**

> Not sure if it flowed alright? It's mostly dialogue so? I'm not sure? But obviously Bokuto has this magnetism that would draw Akaashi to him regardless of the situation.


End file.
